you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
