I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize