I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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