She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize