i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
