If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
