another moral hangover. fuck.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
