Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
