I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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