They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Small penises have feelings too.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I stole a fireplace last night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
