Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
