the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
