hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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