Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i dont even know how to be here
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
