Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
