I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
