May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
