my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
