Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
