two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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