our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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