I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
