would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
