He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
