Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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