Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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