you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
