Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
