Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
