I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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