Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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