please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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