When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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