And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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