I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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