i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
