in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
