his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
