Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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