does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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