Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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