Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
