She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
