We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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