OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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