Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
