I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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