I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
40s are totally the cure
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
