I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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