i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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