A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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