S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
