he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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