you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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