you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
third nipple confirmed
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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