She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
