I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
