i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
