What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm passing your future prison.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
