we're blogging at a bar
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
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