We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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