saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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