where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I intend to get homeless drunk
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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