I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
