Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
